Wow….Dick Vitale has an Easy Job

Rick Reilly’s column about Tiger Woods throwing tanturms was suprisingly decent…So…in this brief post, I’m going to delve into the world of college basketball a bit. I am casual fan of college basketball. I follow Pitt and watch March Madness at work, but that’s the extent of it. But still, it doesn’t take a Jay Bilas to notice something fishy with this little nugget from Dick Vitale. It’s his 2009 All-Rolls-Royce Team!! I know I’ve been waiting with bated breath.

Now, usually when someone decides to make up some team it’s supposed to be kind of exclusive right? Especially when Rolls are involved. (All Rolls Royce? Is this a real thing by the way? Does he do this every year? Cuz he gives no explanation about why it’s called the All-Rolls-Royce-Team) And I guess you could say that Vitale’s list is exclusive, if you mean that he didn’t put any high-schoolers on the list, because after writing: “My friends, there is a lot of talent out there, and this was not an easy process.” He proceeds to demonstrate the exact opposite (turns out it was really easy), because he then just lists like every player who plays college basketball. Seriously, there are 7 teams of five! Whoever heard of a 7th team All-Star? Or a 5th team All-Madden? It’s absurd.

But then, just to cover all his bases, Vitale then lists 18 (!) Honorable mention players. I don’t know if he felt bad about leaving someone off the list, but really, if you can only make honorable mention on Dick Vitale’s Rolls Royce Index of People Playing College Basketball then you should probably feel pretty terrible. Anyway, here’s the list. I just missed the cut.

FIRST TEAM
C-Cole Aldrich, Kansas — 14.6 PPG, 10.6 RPG
F-Kyle Singler, Duke — 16.7 PPG, 7.7 RPG
F-Luke Harangody, Notre Dame — 23.2 PPG, 12 RPG
G-Sherron Collins, Kansas — 18.3 PPG, 5 APG
G-Kalin Lucas, Michigan State — 14.8 PPG, 4.4 APG

SECOND TEAM
C-Greg Monroe, Georgetown — 12.7 PPG, 6.7 RPG
F-Damion James, Texas — 15.4 PPG, 9.2 RPG
F-Patrick Patterson, Kentucky — 18.2 PPG, 9.4 RPG
G-Scottie Reynolds, Villanova — 15.5 PPG, 3.6 APG
G-Greivis Vasquez, Maryland — 17.1 PPG, 5.1 APG

THIRD TEAM
C-Jarvis Varnado, Mississippi State — 13.1 PPG, 9.0 RPG
F-Evan Turner, Ohio State — 17.1 PPG, 7.0 RPG
F-Tyler Smith, Tennessee — 17.2 PPG, 5.9 RPG
G-Jerome Randle, California — 18.4 PPG, 4.9 APG
G-Willie Warren, Oklahoma — 14.7 PPG, 3.0 APG

FOURTH TEAM
C-JaJuan Johnson, Purdue — 13.2 PPG, 5.6 RPG
F-Gani Lawal, Georgia Tech — 15.1 PPG, 9.5 RPG
F-Craig Brackins, Iowa State — 20.2 PPG, 9.5 RPG
G-Talor Battle, Penn State — 16.8 PPG, 4.9 APG
G-Devan Downey, South Carolina — 19.9 PPG, 4.5 APG

FIFTH TEAM
C-Jerome Jordan, Tulsa — 14 PPG, 8.6 RPG
F-Tasmin Mitchell, LSU — 16.3 PPG, 7.2 RPG
F-Trevor Booker, Clemson — 15.3 PPG, 9.7 RPG
G-James Anderson, Okla. State — 18.6 PPG, 5.8 RPG
G-Nic Wise, Arizona — 15.1 PPG, 4.6 APG

SIXTH TEAM
C-Ed Davis, North Carolina — 6.4 PPG, 6.8 RPG
F-Manny Harris, Michigan — 16.8 PPG, 6.9 RPG
F-Robbie Hummel, Purdue — 12.7 PPG, 6.9 RPG
G-Denis Clemente, Kansas State — 15.4 PPG, 3.3 APG
G-Jon Scheyer, Duke — 15 PPG, 2.8 APG

SEVENTH TEAM
C-Samardo Samuels, Louisville — 11.9 PPG, 4.7 RPG
F-Devin Ebanks, West Virginia — 10.4 PPG, 7.7 RPG
F-Luke Babbitt, Nevada — 16.8 PPG, 7.3 RPG
G-Aubrey Coleman, Houston — 19.7 PPG, 8.4 RPG
G-LaceDarius Dunn, Baylor — 15.3 PPG, 4.6 RPG

HONORABLE MENTION
C:DeShawn Sims, Michigan; Solomon Alabi, Florida State; A.J. Ogilvy, Vanderbilt

F: Chris Wright, Dayton; Al-Farouq Aminu, Wake Forest; Raymar Morgan, Michigan State; Da’Sean Butler, West Virginia ; Lazar Hayward, Marquette; Quincy Pondexter, Washington; Deon Thompson, North Carolina

G: Isaiah Thomas, Washington; Jeremy Hazell, Seton Hall; Malcolm Delaney, Va. Tech; Deonta Vaughn, Cincinnati; Matt Bouldin, Gonzaga; Jerome Dyson, Connecticut; Kemba Walker, Connecticut; Osiris Eldridge, Illinois State