Jose Canseco’s Twitter Feed is a Delight!

I predict that sometime this summer there’s going to be some sort of police stand-off at Jose Canseco’s house. It’s going to be messy, involving lost charity money, millions of dollars of overdue back-taxes, shotgun blasts dramatically exploding through terra cota walls, Ozzie Canseco cowering in the half bathroom firing random shots through the door…it’s all gonna be there.

Canseco’s Twitter account is awesome, and you should follow it right away if you’re on the Tweet Machine. If not, this might be a good reason to sign up. It’s a fascinating look at a crazy man. Jokes, baseball, movies, the occasional threat to the guv’ment, shady charity deals. I love it.

Let’s look at a string from the last few days…

B e careful with the irs they r coming down hard on people (7:37 PM Mar 2nd via TweetCaster)

I like this one.

No way, Jose (ba da ching)! You mean to tell me that the IRS are ass-holes? What a crazy, novel idea! But, you know, now that I think about, I think you’ve hit on something here!

My girlfriend finally convinced me to get my hair done (5:30 PM Mar 3rd via TweetCaster)

I want to see it. I bet he got his tips frosted.

Tiger woods I love him he’s the man. He’s also human well maybe superhuman even I couldn’t handle so many girls. Pimp daddy s (6:23 PM Mar 3rd via TweetCaster)

I love how he throws that “Pimp daddy s” in there at the end. Awesome. Just awesome.

Who is interested in spending the day with me and seeing what my life is about about (18 hours ago via TweetCaster)

Umm…me. Honestly, I’d really like to know what he does. Jose Canseco is fascinating to me.

1000 per day we can do anything if interested in spend a daY with jose email me at jc7264@yahoo.com about (18 hours ago via TweetCaster)

Well, not for 1000 DOLLARS…but if it’s 1000 of something elese, I dunno. Let’s talk. I’ll e-mail you brah. Can we go egg Mark McGwire’s house? Pretty please.

All the money is going to a charity about (17 hours ago via TweetCaster)

A mysterious charity.

I want to teach kids about baseball proper hitting. Power hitting without steroids about (14 hours ago via TweetCaster)

Is this said charity? Or just a random thought? Also, I don’t think your particular skill set is suited for this type of instruction, Jose. Your class is being held on field 3: Power Hitting With Steroids.

The movie on my life if interested email me at jc7264@yahoo.com (about 14 hours ago via TweetCaster)

Unless u have financing for the projects don’t email me thank ju (about 13 hours ago via TweetCaster)

So Jose Canseco wants to make a movie about himself. Sweet. I think John Travolta should play Canseco.

do u n o that if 20 percent of the california population don’t pay taxes the irs can’t do anything about it we have the power (11 minutes ago via TweetCaster)

I did not know that. Are you sure? That’s sounds shady. Why wouldn’t they be able to do anything? This sounds kind of like when you were in fourth grade, and that kid was like, “Let’s not go in from recess. They can’t get us ALL in trouble.” I never actually found out what would happen in this situation, because invariably most of the girls and the nerdy kid who liked school would line-up anyway…but I always suspected that we COULD all get in trouble. I suspect the same is true in this case.

If the irs puts pressure on u tell them to go to hell stand ur ground especialy if u can’t pay them (9 minutes ago via TweetCaster)

Hey, Mr. Tax Man. Eff off! Yeah, you heard me! Whoa whoa whoa, hold up dude, before you go, you think you can lend me a fiver?

You think Jose’s worried about not having the money for his taxes this year? Perhaps this is the reason for the mysterious charity?

The government is givingv major corporations hundreds of millions for poorly managing there businesses and then thrfeaten the average person (7 minutes ago via TweetCaster)

To pay minimal amojunts tell them go to hell (7 minutes ago via TweetCaster)

Well yeah. I mean, I’m not a fan of the IRS. I don’t like paying taxes, and I don’t like that my money is going to big businesses…but no one’s threatened me. Are they threatening you, Jose?

Seriously. Canseco’s going to be in the news here soon for not paying his taxes. He’s going to go to trial….orrrrrr there’s going to be a fire fight. I’m hoping for the fire fight. No injuries, of course…I just think Ozzie needs a chance to show his courage.