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Rick Reilly Mocks Your Life-Threatening Allergy

December 20, 2010

Oh, hey guys. How’s everyone doing? So, I’ve been gone for some time. Not literally, just from the blog, and I’m starting my New Year’s resolution early by posting now…on an a kind of old (not)blog post of Rick’s. 

Reilly decided he would rant about three “Annoying Decisions” at high school.  The first one was the real doozie, involving Reilly’s alma mater, Boulder (CO) High School. They held a rally for their football team. And, then, this:

Enter morons.

BHS principal Kevin Braney and athletic director Melissa Warfield showed up with frowns and made the moms pop all of the balloons, every single one, with pins.

Why, you ask?

“One of the kids has a latex allergy,” the school told us.


A latex allergy? Who’s even heard of a latex allergy?

Ohh….ohhh! Pick me. I have. I’ve heard of a latex allergy, and guess what, so has the Mayo Clinic. To wit:

Latex allergy may cause allergic reactions ranging from sneezing or a runny nose to anaphylaxis, a potentially life-threatening condition.

So, yeah, it’s pretty serious and it’s pretty common, too if the Mayo Clinic is to be believed. But, maybe they’re a bunch of liars, who knows.

It gets better, though, as Rick continues to mock the poor kid.

If the kid is allergic to latex, tell him to stay away from the balloons! Or wear a SCUBA suit! Or live in a bubble!

Or, alternatively, you could just not have balloons so the poor kid can participate in the school-wide function. Are balloons that important that they should have a.) risked the kid dying or having a reaction; or b.) sent the stupid, little wuss boy home?

Phew. Okay. That felt good. Stay tuned as there is more to come. I’ve missed you, Rick. I really have.

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