Jose Canseco is Uncle Rico

Now seems about as good a time as any to check in on our old friend Jose Canseco, seeing as how Donald Trump named him as a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice last night. (I personally look forward to seeing how Canseco and Gary Busey battle it out over who gets fired first). You’ll remember that we looked at the sad (mostly Twitter) life of Jose Canseco. Then his agent came crying about we didn’t know Canseco, yadda yadda yadda. It was all fun. Then, our initial comments, over which Canseco and his agent were upset, came true. Never once were we actually happy about Canseco’s downfall, but, it’s high entertainment. Anyway. Let’s check back in with the former slugger, shall we?So, we all know by now that Canseco will be on Celebrity Apprentice. For probably one episode…maybe two if Busey can out-incompetence Canseco. So, naturally, he’s still angling for other jobs. Namely, as the first baseman for the New York Mets. Really!

Like here (Canseco’s protected his Tweets so I can’t link to them individually, just his page. They’re there): Sandy alderson let me know what you think I wanna play for you and If I can hit a softball 550 feet amazing what I can do to a baseball. That’s just so awesome. It’s like Uncle Rico. “I bet I could throw a football over them mountains.”

Then we move from the implausible/delusional to the utterly bizarre.

I am still testing those anti aging products will let everyone know soon if they work or not

Oh good, I’m glad we’ve got one of our best scientific minds on this. And then…

You can live to be 120 years old I will prove it soon

Oh my. This is too much. Just step back from the ludicrousness of Jose Canseco researching anti-aging solutions for a second, and think about how he would prove that he could live until 120 “soon.” Canseco is 46, so we’re looking at another 74 years before it can be “proven.” Unless, of course, Canseco is also working on a time machine.

Which, would make sense, considering he’s the real-life Uncle Rico.