Rick Reilly Says You Have to Root for the Packers

In yet another fantastic article, Reilly brings the hard-hitting analysis and insider information you’d expect from an 11-time recipient of the Sportswriter of the Year Award.

In fact, it’s soooo awesome I’m not even going to reprint any of it here. (It’s not actually awesome, don’t worry…but it’s really not worth the time).

Full disclosure, I’m a Steelers fan, so I’m not one for fawning Packers articles just about now, but still…this thing is nonsense. I’ll sum it up for you:

Steelers fans want their team to win the Super Bowl, but Packers fans need their team to win the Super Bowl. Oh, and Green Bay is a small town! Just like Decatur! Poor Decatur. Remember when I wrote that awful Leatherheads script? It was about football teams from places like Decatur and Green Bay! (That part’s not in the article, but whatever, it’s implied). They have streets named after Packers in Green Bay! And Lombardi. Lombardi! They call it the Lombardi Trophy for cripes sake. Plus Brett Favre treated them badly, and, oh yeah, what else is there in Green Bay? Nothing. Yeah, yeah, and don’t let me forget Cheeseheads! Those things are awesome! And homeless Green Bay people are really happy about getting a free trip to the Super Bowl even though they’ll still be homeless when they come back! Can you imagine that! (Seriously, that’s in there.)

Therefore, QED, everyone should root for the Packers on Sunday.

Anyway, most of these would also be true of the Steelers. Pittsburgh, you know, also is not a big city. I bet homeless Pittsburghers would also love  a trip to the Super Bowl, and, oh yeah, Steelers fans are widely considered some of the most passionate fans out there. Chuck Noll won more Super Bowls than Lombardi. Heinz Field is on Art Rooney Dr. It’s a family-run business. I could go on. Whatever.

I don’t care who you root for. Just don’t root for the Packers because of Reilly’s stupid reasons.

Oh yeah. He also says that 1 in 54000 Chicagoans is a Bears fan…which seems low. And that 1 in 1900 Green Bay-ites (? What do you call people from Green Bay?) is a Packers fan, which, again, seems low. Maybe he means players? If so, it’s still dumb.

Rick Reilly sucks and should totally be fired. Guh. Whatever, I’m gonna go to sleep until the Super Bowl.